Well you need to figure that out and fast. i cried for days on and my bf couldnt figure out was . But for me, it was. :-( Feel free to start a thread if you need to vent it all out.). I feel sorry for the visually impaired but that doesn't mean I want a blind person flying my airplane and my compassion won't make the flight any safer. I kissed my husbands best friend while we were drunk, well no, he kissed me My boyfriend was drunk and let his friend sleep between us. There is more going on. I guess it's the nature of the topic - emotive yet one of those Grey areas. If you. I kissed another guy when drunk but can't remember?! Sorry, you two, I'm not ignoring you, just super-super-busy at the mo. However, if it doesn't close itself through sustained inactivity soon then I'll probably close it myself (as the actress said to the bishop). I'd be obsessed with it. Well, then, let me enlighten you. I'd never be able to get over it. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission, which supports our community. The 2 Most Psychologically Incisive Films of 2022, The Surprising Role of Empathy in Traumatic Bonding. I know, I need to start a thread. We were going through an awkward time in the relationship and I was craving the attention and simplicity of this guy. Not just, here's your marriage license good luck. In Jung's theory, the anima makes up the totality of the unconscious feminine psychological qualities that a man possesses and the animus the masculine ones possessed by a woman. if you believe you have to tell him exactly as you did here , if your friends you were with are also his say he can ask them . But, listen, I don't want to turn this thread into a general chit-chat one. I feel so bad since then. Talk to her about it and explain to her how it hurt you to see them kissing. In fact, you dont even have to tell your partner what you did because it was an innocent kiss. What does it mean for my marriage? Social media, the Internet, texting and so on. Come join the discussion about love, romance, health, behavior, conflict resolution, care, and more! If it were my husband, I would be upset too, because that would be so out of character for the man I know. Itachi, Lees theory can backfire, especially if the person really believes you are talking about someone else and then he/she finds out you are talking about someone that YOU did. You have no right to unburden your conscience at the expense of your partners happiness. True mistakes get owned and rectified. I'm asking myself all sorts of questions like did I like him, is that why I did it? I'm not married nor have I ever been married. SA you have got it- it is more the "what's behind it" than what happened. I calmly told him that I wasnt in love with him, but I did feel some attraction and that I accepted the liquor and the kiss because I was curious to find out if there was anything between us. What would people say if she'd slept with someone else? Generally people dont care when it happens with others but when it happens with them, they may react very differently because human are emotional creatures. You knowing you can trust your husband to do the right thing when faced with temptation is all it takes for him to remain blight-free when blight (whether or not wearing fishnets) threatens. I'll still cross over with him at times, but it will be minimal. If you don't figure this out OP, it will happen again. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. Press J to jump to the feed. The first step to a broken loyalty is a first kiss. My piano instructor came over once a week, usually on a Saturday when my husband was home. Don't have an account? What am I going to do? He Have Lipstick Stain Or Make Up Stain On His Face It's an obvious sign that someone kissed him. A number of years ago, while I was still married to my late husband, I befriended a guy who was an ace pianist. I did for a second *start* to kiss him backbut only because I was so completely off my head at that point (I'm talking room starting to spin) as was he, actually, which is probably why it occurred- well, NEARLY occurred in the first place, so don't worry about that bit but the second I did, I came to my senses and told him NO WAY JOSE!!! Life's a bleedin' mystery, ain't it? It sounds like you are projecting your own fears onto him. If you are separated, you aren't doing anything wrong. I put a blanket over her and sat back down next to the man. Your Drinking Behaviour. You want me to go on a comma and replace her. reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2006): A One day, he came over with a bottle of whisky and he had already been drinking. Biological ones. [3] you couldn't extend to him the same courtesy he'd already extended to *you* (i.e. I didnt hear from my piano teacher for at least two weeks after that. Yes one should take care of themselves before getting drunk. I believe in complete honesty, 100%. HIKARI, you can't take up an obsolete thread as your own, no matter any similarities, so if you want feedback and advice it's best to start a new one (and copy and paste that post into it as your opening post), okay? I too stand by my post as well-doing what is right as it relates to this issue is hardly ever the path taken. If he is like me, its a choice. It's good that you're willing to forgive,most women would divorce. I felt sick! Go to a therapist if you think it could help you work through why this has appealed so much. By having a relationship with someone else and then just disappearing off it made things so much more complex for me, him and particularly the DC. He's a nice guy and we get on, but I don't know how I'm gonna face him talk about normal work things. Like stateside, maybe southern California or San Diego? As for this one, I think it's safe to say it's run its course for now. IAMHIM (person claiming to be an unregistered passer-by), Myself and the man were sitting next to each other on the couch, and the other woman was sitting on another couch at the other side of the room. Once emotions kicks in, you cant predict what will happen. People who are qualified to label themselves good don't keep secrets from the one person in the world they tacitly vowed never to keep secrets from, particularly when the information is the victim's right to know (in order to continue to emotionally protect themselves, particularly whenever their partner's showing they're currently unable to execute their duty of helping them do so 'right to know' because where there's a problem in the relationship as, with the mere aid of the pigpen gate-unlocker called alcohol, causes behaviour counter to the relationship's chances of continued success, then - AS a team - it takes both members' addressing it together for the solution/outcome to possess any real authenticity or permanent efficacy. I'll see you over there. My libido is sharper when Im sober, at least if Im really attracted to a guy and have the love goggles on. To tell versus Not to tell (and everything that has a bearing). Guy Winch, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist and author of Emotional First Aid: Healing Rejection, Guilt, Failure, and Other Everyday Hurts. If he's like meI can forgive the actbut not the lying. Oh there really isn't any disagreement actually. Bad things happen.Yes.but wat i d recomnd u is NEVER EVER tell him ! I was drunk on Friday night and I kissed another guy. How Psychologically Conditioned Rats Are Defusing Landmines, The Innate Intelligence Observed in the Dying Process. We were going through an awkward time in the relationship and I was craving the attention and simplicity of this guy. She had gone to bed. If you feel like this about yourself then you may be worrying about what he will do while he's at university. Is kissing someone else when drunk cheating? When we got there the drinks flowed again , and more laughter and story telling. You went and MARRIED someone who was your best FRIEND, not your Bam!, Pow!, "oh my god there is a god!" i agree with everyone there's some really good sharing here. Now then,you and hubby should do some summer travel. He went on to tell me that he kissed another woman and he had to tell me, he couldn't keep it a secret from me. he said if i started making out with another girl, hed be into it, but if i started getting carried away and disappearing with By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. In a way you are trading his peace of mind for yours, do you really think that you will accomplish anything by doing that? Dont tell me that you and ______ (the girl who was staying at our house for the weekend) are lesbians? If the reaction isnt strong, then maybe its okay to confess. This thread has expired - why not start your own? Nah Don't say a word about it. Houston? Personally, if nothing happened apart from him buying drinks and giving you a ride home, then I wouldnt have told at all. One way to get over the guilt would be to prove to yourself that it will never happen again. NOT mentioning it could make you come across guilty. I've been Dating a married Albanian man for 6 months already and NOT proud of it.Just wanna share my, Hurt my ex girlfriend, feel guilty and don't know what to do. I just knew you would cheat on me if given half a chance.. Not Opening Up To You Anymore You have been dating this guy for only two months and it's not serious yet. "what the hell where we at?" I am sure this girl knows he is married. Hang on because I'm sure there will be other people who believe differently from me. NO don't actually make it easy for him to have ANY KIND OF RELATIONSHIP with this woman!!!! Don't feel guilty because you are a mom (or dad) and you feel like you need to be spending time with them. I feel like I like myself down and my husband down. I have no idea who the girl is. I'm mortified. Once was after we'd had a bit of a heavy talk earlier, and the other two were after we dropped one of the little ones off at the grandparents and he started talking about if it gets easier to leave a child (ie when you have weekend contact and you have to drop the child back off at the end of it.). So, when he offered me whisky, I happily drank it until I was drunk as a skunk. Years after my divorce the one thing that still makes me really angry is that my XH should have ended the marriage as thats what he wanted. I didnt blame the alcohol because I knew I had feelings for my piano teacher, and I didnt want to pretend the feelings didnt exist. I've gone to a couple thread's here recently. I dont know which country u belong from but where i live I don't think men here like us to talk to strangers , men are our protectors and the bread earners, men on the whole are possessive of their females all around the world specially in case like yours if you have been too much loyal to each other,however if we assumed both of u to be flirt or too outgoing-means in case of slping wid ppl etc then u could share an event like a normal secretbut remember this is not merely a secret its equal to CONFESSING A CRIME/yes disloyality is a crime another man can not touch u after u r marryd to sombdy-if i take myself into account i can never allow any guy to touch me its only my hubbys right to see and love me even he says my loyalty is his most precious asset:) so if u do confess then he forgives or not for ur crime is his decision- I would recommend you should avoid telling him n you should change your job or timings as soon as possible because he that boy may try to exploit the situation tell your hubby though it has little chance but still you should be careful. So this was me subconsciously- not *setting* the standard but showing my maintaining it as per our agreements over only having eyes for each other and always, ALWAYS being 100% honest with each other no matter WHAT. You have been dating this guy for only two months and it's not serious yet. "Soz". This should be obvious, but sadly, for many it's not. Kissed another man four years ago and NOW feeling guilty. They all agree that kissing is intimate with one even saying that to them, its more intimate than sex. She emailed him out of the Blue, and he proudly showed me both her smarmy email and his polite yet nonetheless "on yer bike!" / Dyathinkhesaurus? I regret waiting so long to tell him.-2 months. What if your husband ever found out? Confesing to your husband was risky. When I needed a dresser picked up from a furniture store, he offered to take me to the store and bring the furniture home in his pick up truck. I'm trying - with the utmost seriousness and sincerity - to advise you to keep your relationship rap-sheet completely squeaky clean. Even so, you might find that you are still attracted to other people. Thankfully, he immediately and apologetically backed right off (which was when we woke this other woman and they both left), and, luckily, put his apologetic money where his mouth was by phoning me the very next day to say how stupid and guilt-wracked he felt, assuring me it would NEVER happen again so could I please forgive him and just forget it ever happened. If you kissed someone while you were drunk then perhaps you are worried about doing it again. You'll have to accept it, face up to it, and put it behind you. I like him so so much and I know I was just being drunk and ****. A forum community dedicated to married life between you and your spouse. WORK. I'll inform the vicar, you cancel the cake, yeh? Im more than competent at the piano myself, but this guy was amazing. Hubby had a similar experience when we were in our first year - with his ex. Married woman slaps sleazebag's face and leaves. Buster was in law school Buster Murdaugh, left, and his girlfriend Brooklynn White watch a video clip from Buster's brother Paul's phone in the double murder trial of Alex Murdaugh at the Colleton . They need to hold people more accountable to commitment. He doesn't deserve to be hurt by this. Here are the frightening ways to know that he gave another girl a kiss ; 1. I kissed another girl while black out drunk, dont remember a thing. Dont tell me now that youre in love with him.. When you go out and get drunk- if you find yourself attracted to another man- think back to how you feel now after you acted on that attraction. 2. That's a lot to take in. And he grabbed my waist!. There's nothing wrong with feeling an attraction to another person when you're in a relationship. female "Sadly, many people who have a crush on someone else purposely get drunk ". Oh yes he has cried a help of a lot. Being an authentic partner and holding back secrets does not seem to go well together. The caller wasn't experienced (like me). Secrets have no place in a marriage. Changing jobs or departments and without delay, those things that aren't rocket science, is definitely what I as a fractionally betrayed partner would call you putting your rueful money where your rueful mouth is - enough to help reassure permanently. Shes said thats it. (works every time :-p) The straight guys get into it, theres no doubt they even end up biting the LGBT guys. Lees theory has a big vulnerability. We've been together a lot of today for various reasons, we've talked a little but as of right now, officially I'm still "thinking things over." Ashley Madison helped things along with extramarital affairs. I went to a party with friends last night and I kissed someone.. If he forgave you, then it sounds like he accepted that it was a mistake, that you won't do it again and has moved on. The straight women in the girls-french kiss-girls video were all shocked at how gentle and 'non-aggressive' female kissers were, in comparison to guys. :-). We lived in a small town at the time, and it felt like avoiding this girl was nearly impossible. Yes, that's what I was going to advise - that you two continue any discussion on LG's own thread. Now, four years later, I am feeling extreme guilt to the point that it is making me sick and consuming thoughts every minute of the day. If I ws on ur place I would never have told him because he loves me so much and respect me so much and really trust me like anything and if you are guilty and try to relieve ur guilt by telling him still doesn't prove to be beneficial for you and other than that it creates a doubt in his heart that would be very mych lowering The respect he has in his heart for you. I took the ride. When we went to bed that night, I started crying because I realized what had happened and I felt confused and guilty all at the same time. End of story. What you *can* have is the Biggest B*lls on the Block award. instead of: I told him later that I thought it was misunderstood and apologized. What!! I want to break down and cry. That's a long time for kissing. This guy wouldnt take money from me (I should have seen this as a Red Flag, but didnt), so I bought him opera scores in order to compensate him for his time and expertise. The problem is soulmate if I mentioned some of the things that happened in another in another thread. I know it was wrong and I regret it all. I gave up playing tennis with him. I knew this was wrong but my brain wasn't working properly. To be honest, my stomach is sick with the thoughts of the whole thing. It's not fair they didn't ask for it. I sent the guy packing with a friendly piss-take (whilst deliberately flashing my ring), and then told hubbie the minute I got home.