The group sets off party poppers down the line. What've you done with his fingie? FBI Agent Bob: Think about what you want to say, and then say it in a creative, original way. But nobody else is gonna put it right for me. The ESCAPOLOGIST starts to walk in from the back of the stage. Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it. MATILDA Narrator: MR WORMWOOD is having a lot of trouble with the book, even putting his foot on it and pulling at it. COUPLES, CHILDREN, and DOCTOR Looks like rain. (Bruce!) NIGEL leans forward in concentration and groans in agony several times. She's probably having a meeting or something and won't want to be interrupted. I think I'm gonna keep this on. It was the biggest burp I had ever done. I mean, what else? But I'm his little soldier. Are you being smart with me? . Mr Wormwood! MISS TRUNCHBULL It's your father who's going to federal prison. You can adopt me. Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it. There's nothing to fear. [she shoves Jenny out of her office and slams the door after her]. Everyone is born, but not everyone is born the same. Harry Wormwood: MATILDA picks up various bottles from the vanity and reads from their labels. Cat in the Hat! Past Alice. [sometimes, to be in time with the music: Well? Funny Tinder pickup lines. Look at you hesitating. We're not rich. There's never been a miracle, a miracle, a miracle as . google_ad_format="120x90_0ads_al_s"; Crazy Credits I wish my pillow was as huggable as you. . MATILDA enters from her bedroom. From offstage, MISS TRUNCHBULL blows on her whistle. Thought you'd pay me back, didn't you? MISS HONEY Do we want to do something that rhymes with "truck"? Matilda: She hates it when I go out. As I was saying, Matilda. But even you, Bruce, You're not a little girl. MISS TRUNCHBULL takes BRUCE by the wrist and leads him off the front of the stage. And today is a very special day: your first day of school! That's right, honey, look at mummy. Why would you want to read when you got the television set sitting right in front of you? They embrace and exit out the back of the stage. The great feat was instantly forgotten, and the applause went on for nearly an hour. Dad said I'd learn the alphabet! [She grabs a baton with a yellow ribbon attached to it and starts twirling to the music.] 9:17, suspect exits domicile. . [interrupting] FBI Agent Bob: But I . Matilda is a very intelligent and determined young girl appearing in the Roald Dahl children's book of the same name. Well? Before my happy days were over, She's got no respect, that one. Agatha Trunchbull: Now, get off to bed, you little bookworm. . 5. MISS TRUNCHBULL's office, complete with her in a high-backed chair (facing the back of the stage) is wheeled in. [off to the side] . 19. MATILDA starts pouring the hair dye into the Oil of Violets bottle. One way or another, though, every human being is unique, for better or for worse. 8. I did *not* glue my hat to my head! . Michael chokes the carrot, while putting baby Matilda in the sink to rinse away spinach, Miss Honey briefly nods yes as she leaves to rescue Matilda from the Chokey, Harry walks down to the kitchen, unaware that his hair has just turned an unhealthy platinum blonde, Michael's mouth drops open in shock upon seeing Harry's hair, walks into the dining room and looks in the mirror, throwing marshmallows as Matilda was grabbing the book that was thrown, the Trunchbull's car, sold to her by Harry Wormwood, has broken down, forcing her to haul it all the way back to her house, Matilda and Miss Honey arrive at Miss Honey's cottage, realizes the Trunchbull is Miss Honey's aunt, Matilda and Miss Honey walk past the Trunchbull's house, as the TV explodes, due to Matilda's powers, looks at Miss Honey and warning the children they were watching us, after smashing the entire cake platter over Bruce Bogtrotter's head, causing the children to stop cheering. Matilda, you promised me you wouldn't go back in that house again. You wanted cake, you got cake! Their furniture is wheeled off the stage and a hat rack with MR WORMWOOD's hat and an umbrella is brought center stage. You could have heard a fly burp. And I shall crush you. You just need to keep your feet inside the line. For men. Let alone getting the conversation going! If you are having fun, you are not learning. But here it is, coming true: . A flaming escapologist? MISS HONEY 2. WOMAN: Smile for mummy! My mummy says I'm a jumped-up little germ, [He rips the towel off to reveal that his hair is green.] And then, my great, big, beautiful chocolate-y burp, which now seemed to have a mind of its own, wafted full into the face of the Trunchbull! . MRS WORMWOOD 'Cause your life as you know it is "aitcH"-ent history. What do I have to do to gain respect around here? I am off to bleach my roots . To read? Well, here I am. When I look in your eyes, I see a very kind soul. Did I drift off and dream for a minute or two? MISS TRUNCHBULL MRS WORMWOOD (Starts to go, but really this time) I'm going to put the newt in Trunchbull's jug! . [to the FBI agents, as they rummage through her parents' garage looking for car parts] MRS WORMWOOD MICHAEL sits on his lap. Upon the blackboard is written the alphabet. Sing, Jenny! Please! Adopt me, Miss Honey! [Looking irritated, she makes her way to BRUCE's side.] [She exits down the steps and stops behind the first portion of the audience.] Isn't there something you can do? And Even if you put in heaps of eFfort, the Acrobat's sister. . Yes! [She flicks on the light of the vanity in her parent's bathroom, which has risen from the stage. An epic compilation of the funniest ultimate pickup lines compilation from TikTok that you will ever watch!For the best TikTok compilations be sure to subscr. Glad I never was one. Well, this crime took place before school started. . $5,000? [Matilda arrives home from school late at night after Bruce Bogtrotter's encounter with the Trunchbull] You have to put it right . I want to be in school. <> According to a constitutional law book that I read in the library, if you don't have one, you could lose your job or even go to federal prison. She then sniffs her way across the room, following the former path of the spotlight. Oh, let's put it this way. MATILDA pauses for several moments, holding the dolls in front of her contemplatively. Have another marshmallow, Dip face. MISS TRUNCHBULL [Matilda uses her powers to slam her bedroom door in Harry's face just as he reaches it]. Good show. I don't believe Matilda's that kind of child at all. Would rob them of their hope of living happily. Psst! A spotlight searches the theater. This it not your problem. Another flaming book? Dirty dealings, like buying stolen car parts, never stay secret for long, especially when the FBI gets involved. The tiniest mite packs the mightiest sting. Oh, Matilda! The chances of existence almost infinitely small. Narrator: What we all suspected. Oliver Twist . And . And Jenny's outside. MISS TRUNCHBULL And worst of all, when the girl was five, her father died. [throws carrot from the spoon. MATILDA The guy with the stupid haircut! . [suddenly mad, she briskly releases her arm from Miss Trunchbull's grip with her free hand] You shall be . Stand out from the crowd! [her car has broken down] MAN: Don't put honey on your brother. I'm great! Not yet, anyway. How can I make up my own pickup line? Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord, MR WORMWOOD exits while MATILDA runs into her bedroom, flings the door open, and climbs onto her bookshelf. How dare they speak to me like that! . Are you listening? MATILDA What do you want a book for? Michael: MICHAEL gets up and MR WORMWOOD sits down on his recliner. A girl should think about make-up and hair dye. The teacher's clearly falling short. A life. MISS HONEY She found a small cottage. I'm afraid I've not been too successful in getting others to recognize your . . Ciao, Rudolpho. Matilda, 4 Years: They will probably say: "Yuck!" 3. [He dances backwards and MRS WORMWOOD follows along.]. a contract. Come on! [he, Zinnia, and Mikey glance at the paper, then at Matilda] . Pizza is my second favorite thing that I eat in bed. "I'm right and you're wrong, I'm big and you're small, and there's nothing you can do about it.". It's just pathetic! Honest. MRS PHELPS is sitting on a block and MATILDA is standing on one, holding the two dolls. Has incredible upper-body strength. Now EAT IT! MRS WORMWOOD See you tomorrow! Flipping, filthy, nasty, stupid Russians! MISS HONEY She seems not to know that she's special at all. Where are you going? Why, why, why, why, why, why, why? The Wormwoods laugh. BRUCE turns back around and the scene unfreezes. RUDOLPHO starts dancing with and carrying around MISS HONEY, which he continues to do throughout the song. [COUPLES . . I'm gonna sue you, I'm gonna burn down your showroom! A person. I chose looks! He rips out several pages and throws them dramatically on the ground. Take another picture of our angel from this angle over here. . Don't be disgusting! You're going to hug all the air out of me. MISS HONEY One hundred and fifty-five brand new luxury cars, sir. My father's portrait used to hang there. MRS WORMWOOD And remember to be extremely careful. He got a C on his report! Only when they deserved it, of course. You will soon (C) see there's no escaping trageDy. [Matilda comes home from school, excitedly. MR WORMWOOD grabs his suitcase and exits along with the lackey. Gloria Magitum! MISS HONEY Lavender? ERIC, TOMMY, and BRUCE When lights come up again, AMANDA is gone. What are you waiting for? And . Oh, Matilda, this is very sad! ALL COUPLES: What? I swear, I won't take our love for granite. We have everything . Nothing will change. A little less fact, a lot more feel. That's the bananas right there. That's it! Just you wait for phys-ed! Zinnia Wormwood: "Patience, my love," the husband replied. <>/ExtGState<>/ProcSet[/PDF/Text/ImageB/ImageC/ImageI] >>/MediaBox[ 0 0 612 792] /Contents 4 0 R/Group<>/Tabs/S/StructParents 0>> Try to be funny, or clever, or both! Loud, loud, loud, loud! MATILDA This one was mine. They're like insects: they should be got rid of as early as possible. That's right, sir. You're being pathetic! There is a spotlight on BRUCE as he begins to talk. Harry Wormwood: B-R-O-O-C-E! [comes up to her and Matilda stands up] They are all dressed in costume: Eric as Batman, Tommy as the Incredible Hulk, Lavender as a Princess, Nigel as Spiderman, Bruce in army gear, Amanda as Superwoman, Alice as Wonder Woman, Hortensia as a queen. Agatha Trunchbull: No, but don't people need good cars? MR WORMWOOD You're the spitting image. [to MATILDA] You! And do you tell them lots of stories like you do with me? Patience, my love. . MISS TRUNCHBULL I'm sorry, doctor. [Miss Trunchbull has accused Matilda of going into her house]. . All I can say is, thank heavens Michael has inherited his old man's brains, eh, son? Goofs In the slip of a bolt, there's a tiny revolt. Indeed, sir. Haven't I just told you that she is a gangster? Harry Wormwood: . Yes! Oh, no, it's a lovely book. BIG KID [BEN] My daddy says I'm his special little soldier. Babes, I'm on fire, here! Yeah! You can be all cynical, If,1,null Matilda Pick Up Lines. Seven times two is fourteen. It's Miss Honey. This is the worst day of my life! Knock on the door, Jenny. MISS TRUNCHBULL One day Jen, you'll see that everything I do is for your own good. Looks are more important than books. Might she be a little brighter than her class? The most common thing in life is life . [She turns the screens back on.]. . Matilda: See more ideas about matilda quotes, matilda, quotes. Are you ready to get STICKY with MICKEY? Aaaargh! And always keep your feet inside the line! MRS WORMWOOD They say she's lined it with nails, and spikes, and bits of broken glass. [into recorder] You can break them out whenever there is a lull in conversation with your friends or whenever you want to break the ice with someone new. Agatha Trunchbull: . CHILDREN He should have thought of that before he made a pact with Satan and decided to steal my cake! Don't sneer at educated people, Mr. Wormwood. Platinum blonde hair dye. If you're being smart with me, young lady, you're going to be punished. Harry Wormwood: . and I shan't be talking to you for the rest of the evening, you horrid little man! No "buts". %PDF-1.5 Where he's been for the last hour, actually. . Matilda: .