It was about 11:30 am when we finally made it to the hospital (which was on the other side of town) and after being examined by the nurse, was told I was going to have my child later that evening (at about 6 pm)! pinterest.com. The men or the women that married men like the ones referenced in the comments? Thanks for being an a@#$%&*! -Carrie, After I finally agreed to an epidural, the nurse explained that it would feel like a quick little bee sting. Allison Leonard/Ilona McCarty. My FI usually has a few drinks every night too but I am not really worried about him not being able to drive to the hospital because theres tons of people around us who would be more than willing to drive me there. When one starts living with a functioning alcoholic husband, they try to take control of situations, as mentioned above, and behave as a counselor. I get all the credit for being an awesome stepdad and none of the crap over what got screwed up during labor. I had our birth center bag ready. He replied that he didnt feel so well. Get this man an epidural. Preterm labor can be risky for you and your baby. This happened a few times until I fit woke him up to tell him it was time to go to the hospital. I am so thankful and blessed I dont have a story to share like this. You may come across situations where things go beyond your control, and you might end up in an embarrassing situation. We checked into the hospital at 7am, they started pitocin by 8am, and he only stepped out of the room twice (to smoke :boo:) until 8pm when E was born. I am starving and not allowed to eat so I order him out of the room. When your partner needs help, they will reach out to you. My partner and I have not fought at all during our relationship, nor has he given me cause to rage. Your water better not break on my leather seats!. Bringing an extra pair of pants or a sweater might keep you more comfortable for what could be a lengthy labor. First, would he normally drive after 5 drinks? It's just that the cumulative effect of 4-5 drinks from 5pm until 10 or 11 makes me worry. When I was younger and unmarried, I had a boyfriend who was often kind of rude to me in social situations. You know, the stuff you still hold over his head. This is YOUR own husband being an alcoholic. Promote a quicker postpartum recovery. This behavior will shorten his lifespan, increase his odds of developing certain types of cancers, raise his weight, sap his energy, and generally make things miserable. What bugged me was that my husband didnt want to call into work so I was the one who had to meet the girl and her entire family (her, her boyfriend(not the dad), her mom, dad, grandma, step mom, step dad, sister and I think the family dog. I told him if I missed my epidural window I would end his life. One of the major issues that you, as the wife of an alcoholic husband, may face is awkward situations in public or family gatherings. My DH never drinks like that, unless we're headed out for a crazy night with friends (every once in a while) or to a wedding or something. 16/12/2017 05:17. Posted 6/9/10. If he won't deal with that, you should. I'm all about unwinding with some drinks and depends on if its hard drinks or just 5 beers. I asked for all the ridiculous stuff your husbands pulled while you were in labor. Also I agree with a pp that it should be a conversation on the weekend or when he's realaxed and preferably sober. He's in sales and always has social work meetings where drinks are served, too, which doesn't help. Pleaseselect whether I bother you once a day or once a week. Nothing until we got home. Are there any good books for hubby that explain the importance of truly supporting the wife? . We have the ability to maintain our rage and hide it away for just the right amount of time so it can be released with maximum effect at precisely the right time. He almost passed out and had his own team of nurses and MY midwife helping him. Only when you will make them realize that it is a problem and it puts you in an awkward position afterward. Mum had gone in to hospital and he was working. I think your husband should be able to handle 3-5 weeks of not drinking in exchange for a healthy baby and wife. Pet Behavior. Well, theyre in denial because they believe theyre not creating any problems due to overdrinking. He said he needed to shower and run a couple of errands and get some lunch. After the haircut I assume we will be leaving for the hospital and then he informs me he needs to take a shower to get the hair off. The only way to stop this from happening is to let your husband know that you wont tolerate any unacceptable behavior of theirs under any circumstances. My daughters dad (who fortunately I had the good sense never to marry) kept his distance from me the last month or so of my pregnancy, which probably is what kept me from delivering in prison, but he wanted to be at the hospital for the birth. You are pregnant, not we are pregnant. With our third, he asked me to stretch out the pushing for 55 minutes so he would win the money pot at work. (I don't think he would like that job much!). Well, it was getting late, and his sister called to see how things were going, and he smiled affectionately at me and told her that the contractions werent too bad yet. Haha Im going to have to share these stories with my boyfriend so he knows not to mess up next time. The heavy drinker, seemingly unaware of what is happening, become furious, resentful and enraged. Labor Story #8: The waiting game (41 weeks / vaginal to C-section) Location: Alexandria, Va. Year: 2013. "When I [give] with just with my doula and midwife alone, I can allow myself to do whatever is needed to get the baby out," she says. My nurse thought he had the flu. Its like, my mother went through this, and her mother before her, and, well, basically every woman who ever gave birth went through this & got over it, unless it killed em, so Im going to sit here and appear mildly concerned on the surface but secretly bemused that Im not in your position right now, and knowing, with modern medicine the way it is, that youre going to be all right soon enough, and even lord it over me eventually in the same secret way I enjoyed your suffering. Sexuality has nothing to do with a persons character or supportiveness. If I was to go into labor when he was drinking he wouldn't be there and that's that. Around 4:30 Sunday morning, I start pushing. Its a serious problem that can lead to social and physical problems. Luckily, I had the exact opposite experience . With our first child, he made me wait until the show Charlies Angels was done before leaving for the hospital. I went it alone and met up with him after surgery where he was holding the baby smiling, refreshed and relieved. Probably my biggest moment of suppressed anger started on the 2nd of December, 2006. Apparently i was keeeping him awake. For instance, Mike made me wait in the lobby of our building while he went to get a . I went into labor while he was sitting in the bay, alone in a boat. Yes, by all means continue defending your drunk husband because he's dumb and he has to drink because of his job. ? A few other symptoms are: Drinking early in the morning. I like the suggestion that if he's buzzed, he's not invited into the delivery room, and HE has to call his folks to explain why THEY need to drive me to the hospital. Okayjust to show another sidebecause I love this storywith my third we had some complications and had an emergency c section. Help her stay focused and relaxed. In the worst case, you would also want to avoid the situation as much as you can. The nurse ran out of room because she couldnt handle it. I can't believe the ridiculously stupid things being said to defend alcohol abuse here. He needed to get directions to the hospital. Yes, keep telling her that labor will sober him right up, and that he has to sit in the waiting room if he is buzzed, because that's totally the right answer. My husband laid down on the couch in the hospital room, rolled over and fell asleep. At 6am. We were on our way to the hospital by 6:30am. My husband took nearly two hours to have lunch with his mom at the hospital, after he had been helping me through contractions all morning. husband drunk when i went into labor. He was about 4 minutes from the hospital but after 20 minutes he stillhadnt shown up. I was in labor half the night and at around 7 am I say to my hubby its time to go to the hospital. It may be harsh but is needed. Amy Dickinson. Needless to say, when, four weeks later he was resting a pack of frozen peas on his testicles from the vasectomy hed breezily put his hand up for, my sympathy levels were small to non-existent. but this isn't just within my relationships i'd say it's with friendships and working environment - REALLY envy those that have any guts to say what they feel. She all but collapses into my arms exhausted to the point she couldn't even walk to the bedroom. This message, when put right, will force them to be in their best mood despite being overly drunk. The next contraction, I look over to see him asleep. I still give him crap about it almost four years later now. Hours later on July 28, Emily Jacobs, a 28-year-old . He arrived at the hospital with an emerald ring to give her..because after all, it was Mothers Day, and I was born in May. This. The nurses were advising and waiting on him. My husband went home the next day and brought me some things, namely a mens xl t-shirt that said Wanna Play Doctor? on it. I stayed at home as long as I could (we live 5mins drive from the hospital). One suggestion was to bring food just in case I delivered in the middle of the night and the cafeteria was closed (everyone said Id be STARVING after delivery). I want to know how old the OP and her H are as well as the ages of some of the responders who are so sure their H's will slow down the boozehound behavior closer to their edds. Labor started picking up, but the contractions never developed a regular pattern. That's why it's important to do the things that make you happy, such as hobbies, movies, great food - whatever floats your boat. I was prepped for emergency c-section and we had friends in boats out looking for him in the bay. My hubby has a habit of drinking a lot (over 5 drinks in an evening) after a rough day at work, and I'm worried I'll go into labor, and he'll be extremely buzzed. He happily, obliviously goes back to work. I mean, my husband was blotto, passed out beside me. So if he wont agree to give up the drinks then you should have someone as a backup coach that can stand in for him. Im sure his parents saw far more than they ever hoped to see, and Ive never let him live it down. Clearly this was ridiculous. From funny to divorce-worthy to I-would-totally-understand-if-your-husband-turned-up-dead,here are 28 of my favorite examples of Crap Husbands Pull While Their Wives are in Labor. It's too much. At the hospital after the birth of our second child, my husband asked if we could not stay at the hospital because he didnt sleep well there and it hurt his backand, apparently he won that one because we packed up and headed home, where his selective hearing allowed him to sleep through the night from that point forward. . With our second things went pretty well. Seriously, OP, the issues surrounding labour should be amongst the least of your concerns here. Okay. Wear sneakers. Only when you will make them realize that it is a problem and it puts you in an awkward position afterward, they might understand the intensity of the issue and will look for a solution. When I was in labor with our son my wife was AMAZING, a true hero. I had a go-bag ready with food, water and phone numbers. Put together a back-up plan now because none of this is acceptable (not his drinking, buzzed driving or your calling his parents to essentially tattle on him). Hours in labor: Never went into labor! It is also important to seek professional marriage counseling if you need help handling your marriage with a spouse trying to overcome addiction. Was. Listen to Token and others who have pointed out that there is a problem beyond driving to L&D. Now I refuse to touch it so that I can pass it down to my own daughter. Which is normally fine, but NOT when your in labor! Nesting. Then yo ass git a all-expenses paid cruise ta tha Mediterranean n' yo ass git ta hook up Jared Padalecki on tha flight over while bustin yo' jammies. Having. I agree not to do it when he's about to grab a drink because then he will just get irritated with you. All I can think of is - How in the world did you get pregnant? I had read a list of what to pack on a baby website. Would you trust him to drive? Hopefully our midwife keeps him in line. No matter how many times this joke-cum-legend is passed off as a recent tale, nothing will . I don't feel bad because he should have enough respect for me not to drink for a month. )My husband was engrossed by the Daytona 500. Second, how important is it to your husband that he be at the birth? Baby #1 I was told if my water broke it could be dangerous (I had too much) but i was reassured 80% of womens do not break. And yes, I actually fix my hair. He normally goes to the pub every Friday, not too late. I was induced w/our first, and it took a while for things to kick in. Either way, the amniotic sac surrounding the baby has broken, and your kid is on the way. My now ex husband left me home to go to army reserves for the day as i labored home alone. I went into Labor at 1AM after Superbowl Sunday - DH drank a good part of the day and night and had gone to bed around 11 that. Its never easy to be with an alcoholic husband, but these things can surely help. It is quite difficult to deal with an alcoholic husbands emotional abuse. Apparently I was being too loud for him. Not all men are alcoholics, or would make these choices, so stop generalizing all men to excuse your own husband's behaviour and choices (and your own choices to stay with him). He works, he goes out with friends, and when OP asks him to be around or spend more time with her, he tells her to get her own friends. First of all, I'm sorry you're going through this; especially at this point in your pregnancy. Now is the perfect time to start your Baby Registry! That he won't stop for a few weeks while you approach the end of your pregnancy (or forever) is even MORE indicative of that dependency and addiction. I was also in the middle of a contraction when he said that. My husband was incensed and, since he was standing next to my head, diagonal from the doctor, he leaned across me and said, gritted teeth, you will get my son out of my wife without hurting him or her any further or we will OWN THIS HOSPITAL, you fucking stupid bitch. I remember thinking . I feel bad that he lost his phone, but why was he throwing it in the kitchen sink? In the throes of that hell my husband turns to me and says, Im about to head out and meet up with the fellas. This post and the responses make me want to bash my head against a wall. According to the World Health Organisation, around 2% of adults globally have a drinking problem thats over one billion people! Luke decided it was his moment to shine. Binge drinking is a kind of alcoholism. While driving my manic husband was trying to count off 4 count breaths. Why do I remember the date so well? My husband has already been given the expectation that the next couple weeks he can't drink all that much (not like he does normally, but he is trying to plan a guy's night this . Youre not to take it and should face it with confidence. Boo freaking hoo! Not only is he really annoying when buzzed, which will piss me off and make my pain and anxiety higher, but he can't drive! Suffer, dear. I was always sad that I was alone when my sweet son was born. In the car, everything was very annoying to me: the radio, the sound of my husband at the time talking on the phone, just everything. She said she would kill me if i left or fainted so, yeah, i was there for her..lol, I wouldve called my nurse in and asked her to slap him! We finally make it to the hospital and Im left alone for quite a while and I find out why when he strolls into the room with his lunch of a turkey sandwich, clam chowder soup and soda and he says, dont worry honey, I didnt forget about you, here are your ice chips. He then proceeds to interview and film every nurse that enters the room and when it is time to film the labor, we were out of film, wonder why. After 19 hours of back labor and an emergency c-section, my ex went bowling with his parents. I had a hellish time trying to breastfeed my newborn son (turns out he had a tongue thrust issue and didnt latch on until he was 5 weeks old ) and in the middle of the hospital room, amidst lactation consultants and even a sucking specialist , my husband announces : Honey, let me show you, this is how you do it. . More than that is considered heavy drinking, and as previously stated 5+ on any one occasion is considered binge drinking. And to all the posters making excuses: it doesn't matter if it's beer or liquor. My mom would have been my birth coach. -Stephanie, My husband started throwing up while I was pushing. Wow, after reading all of this, I swear my DH is a god among men! At that point I told him that if I were to go into labor and he was drunk he WOULD NOT be there for the birth of our baby. So, feeling AOK, we walked up the hill to the party, socialised and I left Phil to continue cooking sausages and shooting the shit and took the other two kids home around midnight. Its a disorder or an addiction that needs treatment than just taking the blame. Honestly more hurt that thats more important, then it is funny! since the 4th month. So, the advice here is to keep away from the situation and let things happen. If we go anywhere and he has more than 2 drinks I drive home. (But I still decided to stay 2 more hours at home because the nurse said to wait it out when I called them. I will never know. He was drinking coffee, eating breakfast and taking care of the dogs because they were going to be caged up all day. I dont remember anything I said or did after that. For many women, pregnancy can be a stressful time. I gave birth in a Cambodian hospital that, well lets say was set up with top notch 1950s style equipment. I hope for the long term something or someone can get through to him so he can find a different way to relax. When my nurse came in to reposition me I said, can you please wake my husband up his snoring is driving me nuts She did, and he said, well who can get any sleep around here with that beeping(referring to the sound of our sons internal fetal heart rate monitor) It was driving me nuts so I put the pillow over my head!. To this day I cant even enjoy an episode of Duck Dynasty without wanting to smother him. I would go along with the game, keep a straight, often giddy face and say nothing. During one particularly painful contraction, I beat my fist against the passenger door. 20 Tips to Deal With Unresolved Issues in a Relationship, 10 Signs Being in a Relationship With an Alcoholic Partner, A therapist or counselor will be able to help him, 10 Ways to Support Your Spouse in Addiction Recovery, 15 Ways to Improve Emotional Support in Your Relationship, Individuals with alcoholism may have a number of behavioral and emotional characteristics, including a lack of self-confidence and. However, we did talk about it; and he truthfully would have been so embarrassed to call and ask his mom (or my parents) to drive me to the hospital if need be, because he wouldn't feel comfortable driving. The worst you could do is take the place of a professional and try to look for solutions to cure it. It wasn't until my midwife stripped the membranes at 41 weeks that I finally went into labor." 2.) my parents always had a rule never to argue in front of me or my younger brother.. He did later apologize. 08, 2020, 12:03 a.m. NEW! Hes a genius. I woke DH up around 2 or so once I realized I was in labor, and he drove me 20 minutes to the hospital. When it comes to dealing with an alcoholic husband in denial, speaking to them about the issue in length seems a better option. At first he acted like I was over reacting but later apologized and agreed with me. You need to have a serious talk with your DH. What on earth makes you think anyone wants your man? So, I felt it and tried to ignore it. It really hurts. I replied, What the fuck is wrong with you? With my 2nd son, he kept watching the monitor and telling me when I was having a contraction. I was sleeping when suddenly cramped stood up and my water broke. Unfortunately, the emerald fell out when I was in middle school so I bought a new one to replace it. Children should be seen, and heard, and believed. One 2013 study, found that even . It's not much to ask for him to give up drinking for a couple of weeks or to just tone it down to a couple just in case so that he can still drive ina pinch. Water Breaking Is a (Damn Obvious) Sign of Labor. Alcoholism is quite difficult to catch during the initial few meetings, but by the time you get to know about it, it is too late. My husband also told me at one point that hearing the doctor give me the episiotomy sounded like someone cutting raw chicken with scissors. I was on the floor screaming with what I thought were bad early labor contractions, but later found out I was already in full labor. Mine said I was making a spectacle of myself while in an induced labor with back to back contractions. They were 1 minute apart, which was not what the books and classes told us we should be at this early on. These are hilarious! Now this of course makes us, the people theyve invited over for a BBQ, a little uncomfortable. I finally woke him up to help me time them, since they were getting more intense. I made his mom clean it up and get him into the bathroom where he passed out on the floor. I had to go to the hospital for a D&C with my first pregnancy as the baby stopped growing and there was no heartbeat, but I didnt miscarriage automatically. Kept busy being a working mother of 3 children, one with Aspergers, renovating the original money pit and drinking too many coffees in the space of 24 hours. Then he is hungry and is trying to make a sandwich and I inform him it is time to leave for the hospital. With my first child, my husband slept the entire time from time time i started having contractions to the time when i started to push. He thinks he's being 110% supportive, and says he will, but just drinking when I could go into labor any day is NOT supporting IMO. My husband made the list! Lucky for him, he was standing just out of my reach. From what you've posted, your H has a serious problem. My hero. 1. 5 drinks a night sounds like a problem bigger than just worrying about having a sober ride to the hospital. July 2015 Answer . Did you have a birth plan? I'm currently 38+2 days pregnant and expected to go into labour anytime as this is my 4th baby. Second, I would have an honest conversation about the role you want him to play in labor and delivery. Bern is a Gen X, child of the 80s. If your husband is an alcoholic, make every effort to avoid situations that are triggers for drinking. I made breakfast. After 26 hours of Oxytocin induced labour our son arrived and my hubby had the balls to say jokingly Well, at least we know hes hers! There was never any doubt about paternity, it was just his stupid sense of humour. It also happened to be the night of our annual street party. So I went about my day normally and really thought something was going on around 3pm. He drinks every night. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yay, transition! In order to do you, you might push your husband to loneliness, which eventually will lead to far more serious issues than now. My car, my car! he said with horror. What would make a soon-to-be-dad not realize the birth of his child is a momentous occasion? This will enable you to stay focused and prevent you from giving in to temptation. (I am not worried about a ride though because we have a ton of family and friends that could take me in a pinch.). All parents have had to worry about this, I am sure you will be able to find someone who is willing to help you out. Oh well, possibly because it was the day before I gave birth to our 3rd child, Jack. I would have the conversation when he isn't drinking and is in a good mood. Hes pretty lucky the epidural finally kicked in halfway through their lunch date! For the rest of her births, she delivered at home with midwives. We tackled more laundry. It was 4am when I decided to wake up my husband (this was 2 hours after dealing with the labor on my own) and I told him its getting so much stronger now. So when my mom showed up to help out, hes so busy talking to her that Im having to hit him in the arm every time a contraction came so he would rub my back the only thing I asked him to do (hard back labor). When I was in labor with my second, I waited at home until I couldnt stand it anymore because I didnt want to be in the hospital for hours in labor like I was with my first. Be an advocate. At 9 am, contractions really kicked in and still no hubby. Look at some of the comments and then talk about stupid. 7 min read. You should also make sure to spend quality time with each other and remind yourselves why you fell in love in the first place. Silverstein had her first child in a hospital, with her husband present. My husband and the doctor talked football the entire time I was pushing. I havent let him live that down. During pregnancy, the cervix stays closed and plugged up with mucus (aptly called the "mucus plug"). If my DH drank that much regularly and refused to stop he would be on his own. Our son was born in the morning. Or even if it wasnt, theres still a little bit of schadenfreude involved isnt there? 26 years of marriage has taught me to make sure she is comfortable and has what she needs first and to be honest about what I need. Plenty of men AND women have demanding and stressful jobs and do not need to hit the bottle to deal with it on a regular nightly basis.they remain present with their partners and families, and find non-self-destructive ways to deal with stress. omg, i totally broke out in huge loud laughter when i read this.in a silent room at that. My hubby is a talker, too. Creative Skirt reserves the right to use all submitted photos, Start by selecting which of these best describes you! When he stopped drinking for a month, we conceived right away. After threats, and having my parents call and force him to drive back. In addition, you should also come up with a list of goals that you want to achieve as a couple once you are done with treatment so that you can lead a more productive and happy life together. My nurse who had me pushing literally would not let me catch my BREATH because she told me to push every 10 seconds..for 2 WHOLE HOURS. He asked me to please give him a signal before I had a contraction (and they were, oh, 90 seconds apart) so he could mute the call in time. While crawling along, my contractions got closer together and longer. I woke up at 2 am when my water broke, shook my husband awake and told him. These are all hilarious and I feel lucky that I do not have a funny story to write. But, in the long run, the denial mode is not going to work at all. I turned to my husband and asked him to grab me a snack out of our bags. this was his fourth child. If your husband is an alcoholic, the more you know about the disease, the better prepared you will be to deal with it. Bud Grace And Frankie Weight Gain . With our second child, he said, Whats the problem, youve been through this before..? Ha, I thought to myself, hell be visiting the bathroom regularly tomorrow. After They told me I wasnt going back home, I called him and relayed the info. He finally comes back as I was about to go investigate (and by investigate, I mean cause bodily harm) and explained that he had food stuck in his teeth so he had been trying to floss it out!!!!!! April 2011. I dont want to deal with your stink and neither do the doctors and nurses!