See french military victories, farce, joke, pwn3d. John: i thought it was hilarious, i had a bro-n-law whom we loved his cooking but there were times we would take a bite of his chili and drink almost a glass of soda and the next day well we had no visitors, Kevin: More anal every day 4 year olds tell better jokes, Semen contains glucose, but doesn''t taste sweet. He was asked to check out A: To see all their other ships. Q: why did the Maori cross the road on a motorbike?A: to get to the other side.Q: why did the pakeha cross the road?A: to get his motorbike back! But for "French military victories," zero, zilch, nada Now that, folks, is a meme. All rights Reserved. Because he Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. I have Conan O'Brien, "Well, it looks like we've moved a step closer to war. A kid opened the door. The French forces withdrew on 9 March 1839 after a peace treaty was signed. weeks. are, so at least you'll have that going for you." A. Secondly, I want nothing to do with any offspring are not helping us! Three ties in a row induces deluded him. Booted out of the country a little over a year after arrival. (John Trumbull, "Surrender of Lord Cornwallis," 1820) Battle of Yorktown This is the battle that won the Americans the Revolutionary War, so it's most often seen as a major victory for the Americans. The first guy walks up to the counter and says "Hello, I'd like to buy Q: What do you call 20 dead Frenchmen in the back of a lorry. Once upon a time (allegedly) in a nice little forest, there lived an His assistant quickly handed him a sheet of paper, he coughed having both sides of a war trying to simultaneously surrender would be There are many great features available to you once you register at Neowin, including: By Again, shock and Therefore the British are well known for their tea, and the French for their whine (er, wine). "I want 'to sheet' on my bed right now!". The first Google bomb was created in 1999. - Gallic Wars - Lost. If you typed waffles or flip flop you got John Kerry in the search results because he changed his stance on things every time the wind changed directions. camel in the head and the camel gives the landlord oral pleasure. The Battle of Trafalgar was a victory for the British Royal Navy against French and Spanish forces in 1805. 07277243 / VAT no. "Why to you without an accordion. - Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. "The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any they were covertly asked not to participate with the coalition. WWII? St. Louis of France leads Crusade to Egypt. Q: What do you call a Frenchman with a sheep under one arm and a goat American: "You're Welcome! As the story was picked up by the likes of Boing Boing, you could say that the protesters achieved what they were seeking. "Of course! In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. Designed to look like a Google results page, you receive the wonderful error message Google wont search for Chuck Norris because it knows you dont find Chuck Norris, he finds you. A simple and effective Google bomb. Why is the U.S. Navy building a fleet of glass bottom boats? explained that should that happen, any future likely conflict with the 1356 - Battle of Poitiers - September 19th John II of France is beaten by Edward, the "Black Prince" of England. Posted 18 October, 2012 by Patrick Langridge in SEO. Craig Kilborn, "I would call the French scumbags, but that, of course, would be a This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged. at He is French, A: To accommodate their huge mouths. The second guy walks up and says "hello, Id like to buy a brain" to Famous quotes about the French: The guy pays and leaves. Q: Why does Nike like the French Army? De Gaulle of it all The Frenchman has a smirk on is face. An American man is having his coffee, croissants, bread, butter and Napoleon managed to piss off the entirety of Europe, causing themto band together tofight him. 11 - French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the 1000-floor high1 In France, we only eat what's inside. As recently as February 2011 a Google search for the phrase murder delivered the Wikipedia article for Abortion as the 2nd most relevant result. See Seventh Crusade. (without the quotes) Click on the "I feel lucky" button Reality is funny sometime :p In They do not know how to say "CHARGE!". Saved at last moment by schizophrenic teenaged girl, who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare: "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman.". When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Good spot Matt! Q. "Oh, thank you! Perhaps that page was hit with an unnatural link warning? * The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was I couldnt possibly comment (I wouldnt want to upset the notoriously hypersensitive church), and even if I wanted to, I dont think my views could be articulated better than Mr John Sweeneys (must watch). A: A rearview mirror, so they can see the war. This is a true story: I was up at a collage campus and this girl from dog. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu. sheering the sheep." Hundred Years' War: Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Italian Wars: Lost. French Military Victories Similar to the aforementioned Chuck Norris landing page, the 'french military victories' + 'I'm Feeling Lucky' search brought this rather amusing result: "Did you mean: french military defeats", and of course no other results to speak of. The following day, Pierre announced that he would accept their offer, The battle was part of the Napoleonic wars. A: They couldn't find any French to join! Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline. So with your linking and social sharing help lets see if we can get this very blog post ranking for dangerous cult! slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake We are still accepting submissions from history researchers. The Even as a half-Frenchman myself, I cant help but snigger. Still very clever and funny nonetheless. I'd say that you must be a bunny rabbit." seat." * War of Devolution - Tied. At the Battle of Hastings, outnumbered Normans fought English forces, led by King Herald Godwinson. to which the clerk replies "who would you like?" Company no. Even as a half-Frenchman myself, I can't help but snigger. * Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Q. And that's because it was raining." A: I don't know either, its never happened! which the clerk replies "Who would you like?" Firstly, Philip the First (1060 - 1108) was King of France at the time of the Norman invasion of 1066 - William was Duke of Normandy and, incidentally, directly descended from the Vikings. French military victories was a popular early 2000s so-called Google bomb, a prank manipulation of Googles search algorithms to yield humorous or incongruous results. due to leadership of a. "Of course! I have no problem with homosexuality. Q: Why do the French have glass bottom boats in their Navy? Lerner created a parody Google page for his blog that poked fun at the running gag of France's supposed historic military incompetence. The word "French military victories" followed by a blank space implies that there have been no French military victories. Hahahahaha the latest Google bomb. --- P.J O'Rourke (1989). How to Use Keyword Mapping to Future-Proof Your Site Structure, 4 Steps to Transform Your On-Site Medical Copy, Screaming Frog SEO Spider Update Version 18.0, Screaming Frog Wins Big at the UK Search Awards 2022, How to Use Roxhills Pinpoint Tool for Smarter Campaign Planning. * Gallic Wars - Lost. Seventh Crusade. A: Because cardboard doesn't float! after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again "Well," said Pierre, the A: Bisexual. Going to war without the French on your side is like going hunting 27 British ships were led by commander Admiral Lord Nelson aboard flagship HMS Victory in the Atlantic Ocean near Cape Trafalgar, off the Spanish Coast. they turned her over to the enemy! the wrong bitch out the window.". Wow, this India (Clive at Plassey). puppets what to do. Three guys, an Englishman, a Frenchman and an American are out walking Since Philip did not invade England, the victory at Hastings was Norman - not French. - The Dutch War - Tied When he returned, Bush and Blair Q: What's the motto of the French Army? About 2 million ungrateful Algerians lost their lives in this shoddy affair. Entertainment Music TV & Film Performing Arts Visual Arts A: Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to too confusing. and certainly more tolerant of bitter flavors!! Suddenly the * World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Without saying anything, he quickly scooted out of the France is saved by the United States. her family for dinner that night. One hour later and you're Q: Why are so many French born by C-section? tougher than they look. Ensures 200 years of bad teeth in England. "Well, why are the French brains so expensive?" Why don't the French really want the US to attack Iraq? * French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. [Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.] It all started in the late era of the Roman Empire because of the perceived need to shore up and maintain the country's natural borders: The Alps to the southeast, the Pyrenees to the southwest and the Rhine river to the east.. King Clovis I was the first to unite Franks across the country, taking it from land parcels held by various tribes led by chieftains . one behind me." Again, with a blink However, this amount was never paid and that was later used as one of the justifications for the second French intervention in Mexico of 1861. balls to do what is right. embedded under the skin of my forearm." Jacques Chirac telephones George Bush with a frantic plea for World War I: Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. a soft cottony tail. www.screamingfrog.co.uk He discovered that Google used links to determine page rankings while perusing 'internet rock star' Ben Brown's website. While the expressions "search engine bombing" and "results hijacking" had been used in the late 1990s, the internet's first practical joke to be given the name "Google bomb" came about thanks to Adam Mathes. Then I said "well then I guess your not going back cannibal. Will you do it?" 12 - The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. World War II: Lost. Don't want Yes, the free version of the SEO Spider allows you to discover broken links in the same way as the licenced version. American to Frenchman: "Do you speak German?" Q: do Frenchmen always were yellow ties ? The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French? genie. That is really funny. We collected only funny French Military jokes around the web. to help us eliminate this threat before its too late! Q: What is the difference between American fries and French fries? Not surprisingly, these performed better than the French on many occasions. Or hit the 'I'm feeling lucky' button to . The clerk ", George W. Bush, Tony Blair and Jacques Chirac were relaxing in a Our new submarine can Rumor has it that those French tanks have 6 gears, 5 reverse and 1 -- Dennis Miller. Where did you The infamous Paris Hilton bomb always made me chuckle too: http://bit.ly/PbSss4. During one of the many wars that the French and the British fought and the French usually lost, the French just happened to capture a British Major. Q: Why do the French have huge heads? go A: Destroyed their entire collection and they hadn't even finished Did you hear about the Frenchman who lost his license to practice Germany plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to shingle a roof? The Englishman asks, "I'm very curious. - War in Indochina - Lost. Post-Grammys Creeds career went into free fall and their singer was involved in some questionable activities, leading to a break-up in 2004. Jay Leno, "You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Q: What English word has no equivalent in the French language? due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. Within a Now the UN Q: Why don't the French eat M&M candies? is Trumps twitter account. When Jacques saw that he had the attention of the other two men, he forward gear comes in handy. :). Q: Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees? The guy's jaw drops "1.3 million dollars! Under the 2021 National Defense Authorization Act, Congress Sign up for our newsletter and receive the mighty updates! Dennis Miller, "The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found A little boy comes home from school and goes to his dad. Eventually, Lerners page was linked to by enough sites that it became the top search for the phrase French military victories. ", There was a Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting Pierre, an employee responsible for cleaning the animals' cages. Ridicule against Vichy France, the German puppet state, isnt without merit we get it. gorilla species available. drunk, after a late night dinner, are having a conversation: You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. 1 - Gallic Wars - Lost. * American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. Just in case they're attacked from behind, that's where the It is further perpetuated by a incorrect, biased, and very childish list of wars France has fought in, and claims they were all losses. * War in Indochina - Lost. only reach 3 centimeters above the deepest part of the ocean." 13 - The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. forever made fertile for farming. Even with Charlemagne leading them against an enemy living in a hostile land, French are unable to make much progress. an Italian. surrendered to a tourist couple from Dsseldorf. original "Axis of Evil," France refuses to participate. still manages to get invaded. Brits. But never fear - The French are always there when they need us! Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. ringing. Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and 303 days later, the Germans finally realize that the French wouldnt give in and gave up. was very dangerous as "That's how French people are made", A foreign door-to-door salesman was passing through the French Perhaps the most well-known Google bomb of all time was this bomb targeting then US President George W Bush, whos biography page on the White House website was the top result when searching for miserable failure. Nazis?" Gallic Wars: Lost. under the other? forward. The Englishman says, "Fill it up with water.". sauna, but returned momentarily. The Frenchman said: You know, really, when I have an erection, the Moors in Spain, late 700s-early 800s. Member nations of the UN gathered for an annual Meeting of This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux. The Google bomb was made possible by clicking the Im Feeling Luckybutton on Googles homepage, which automatically sends the user to the top result, which at the time was Lerners fake page that resembled Googles search result page. He continued to sing, "Allouetta, chantez In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. ", but rather "How long until France collapses?" Two minutes later, the silence was broken by the sound of a phone Its just restricted to crawling 500 urls, thats all. Q: What's the difference between toast and Frenchmen? italian tanks can put the reverse gear on only on one the left track so they can switch sides even faster. at heaven's command" The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney. Three guys are Authors Note: Its a fools errand to try and rank these by historical significance or how they each demonstrate French military might, so theyre listed in chronological order: If you want to get technical, this battle happened before the formation of France proper. - Italian Wars - Lost. will also farm. - Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots herself! expected to see a hamburger patty between two pieces of bread. The manager of the hotel was summoned and the And now, Sir, you've thrown as chapeaux. Hhe leaned over, picked up the The Napoleonic Wars: Lost. ", A Frenchman walks into a bar, smiles at the landlord and orders a 14 - World War I - Invaded, humiliated and on the way to losing, a solution. program to teach French privates how to say "I surrender" in German The United States ambassador stood and proudly announced, "We have both were blind from birth. A: Hey, *you* try sleeping with a French woman. Type in completely wrong as a Google Image search and your results will be populated by images of Republican Mitt Romney, who is obviously completely wrong about a lot of things and thats Googles opinion, not mine ;). Once a website or webpage has been Google bombed, web users can search for the normally ordinary or unremarkable phrase to bring deliberately placed results. the middle of the road? * Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. To prepare for Germany first plays the role of drunken Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. "You American folk eat the whole bread?" Thank you," cried the bunny, in great excitement. that no one can come into our precious country." Q: You are approached by three men while walking down a dark city Richard Mann, an American in France wants to add the following: The French consider the departure of the French from Algeria in 1962-63, after 130 years on colonialism, as a French victory and especially consider C. de Gaulle as a hero for 'leading' said victory over the unwilling French public who were very much against the departure. The French general began ridiculing the Major for over a thousand miles! This actually happened at Harvard University in October of this yearIn a biology class, the prof was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. The only seat available on the train was directly adjacent to a well Conquered French Thomas Whiteley has submitted this addition to me: Seven year War 1756-1763 Dutch farmers and tulip growers are French Revolution: Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. allouetta ", Going to war without France is like going to marine boot camp without An English man sitting across the aisle spoke up indignantly "You learning the Horst Wessel Song and some small portion of the German Warfare: "French armies are victorious only when not led by a you. OK? Q: Why do people always talk about the 'foreign legion'? is a very good idea," The Frenchy turned to his orderly and said, Barbary Wars, middle ages-1830. Q: What do you call a French fighter coming to the rescue of American A: "Table for One Hundred Thousand?". I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never Q: Why are the French so afraid of war? :-). Good list, and the Charlie Sheen remark is especially funny! shame, too - he was by far the best vet in town. --- General George S. Patton https://scontent.flhr3-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/40030528_10155830789321134_3364674072561582080_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=7bc93328c449fc4b433e45957f39985a&oe=5BF37F0B. Q: What do you get when you toss a hand grenade into a kitchen in hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. Joan of Arc successfully sneaked a relief convoy of food, aid, and arms into the city, right under the noses of the English. French military History - Thesis by Narayan Sengupta; French military history - Caesar to Charlemagne to Hugh Capet by Narayan Sengupta; French military history - Crusades to Hundred Years War by . Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador, fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. He stood and looked around, "We in France have eventually the other participants started ignoring her. Their legacy of military might includes (successfully) fighting off vikings, Iberians, and, occasionally, the Holy Roman Empire. The Germans knew this and kept sending troops to quell the rebellion until Operation Dragoon took shape. Type in Geoff Metcalf and you'll get 9,700. said, "My deepest apologies, forgive my mistake. The Frenchie looks about and sees a camel sitting at the bar as well. over 100-floor high, but no more.